Complex Emotions During Sefirat HaOmer

There is a way of understanding the mourning of Sefirat HaOmer that resonates with me. Rabbi Akiva’s students died from the end of Pesach until Lag BaOmer, and on Lag BaOmer, they stopped dying, which is why we celebrate. This is based on the Derashot of Ri Ibn Shuib, who assumed that the students died from after Pesach until the 33rd or 34th day. It’s a somewhat strange celebration—after such a tragic loss, we might expect continued mourning. However, it is perhaps a celebration of new beginnings, much like the transition from Yom HaZikaron, Israel’s Memorial Day, to Yom HaAtzmaut, Independence Day, where we honor those who sacrificed their lives for Israel and then celebrate the achievements their sacrifices have enabled.

However, there is another model of mourning during Sefirat HaOmer that confuses me. This model, often referred to as “second sefirah,” is based on the position of the Maharil. He argues that Rabbi Akiva’s students died throughout the period between Pesach and Shavuot, but not on days when Tachanun is not said (the last seven days of Pesach, seven Shabbatot, two days of Rosh Chodesh Iyyar, and one day of Rosh Chodesh Sivan). According to this view, on Lag BaOmer, we celebrate the introduction of Rabbi Akiva’s new students while simultaneously mourning the continued death of his previous students. This is akin to celebrating Yom HaAtzmaut while captives are still held hostage and threats loom on our borders. How do we balance such conflicted emotions?

To explore this, let’s delve into the complex nature of the days of Sefirat HaOmer. Starting on the second day of Pesach, we count up to 49 days, culminating in Shavuot, when we celebrate the bringing of the Karban Omer. As reflected in our prayers, we also view Shavuot as the time we received the Torah. As early as the Abudraham, we learn of a Sephardic custom to study a chapter of Pirkei Avot each Shabbat leading up to Shavuot, as these are days dedicated to preparing for receiving the Torah. Counting these days is seen as an expression of our love for Torah, much like counting the days until a beloved returns.

Initially, Sefirat HaOmer was a celebratory period, either agriculturally or spiritually as we renewed our commitment to Torah study. However, the Gemara in Yevamot tells us that during this same period, 12,000 pairs of Rabbi Akiva’s students died. The concept of mourning them appears later in Geonic literature and was initially limited to prohibitions on marriage. The period was so tragic that Rabbenu Hai, as quoted by the Abudraham, introduced a custom of not working after nightfall during Sefirat HaOmer, as Rabbi Akiva’s students died and were buried at night, leaving no time for work.

A specific variation of the Maharil’s custom is to mourn specifically between Rosh Chodesh and Shavuot. This custom, first quoted by Ashkenazi Rishonim in response to the devastation of the Crusades, included prohibitions on cutting hair and shaving. It was during this time that Av Harachamim was composed, and it is recited on Shabbat even when we bless the new month.

During Sefirat HaOmer, we are tasked with balancing multiple, often conflicting considerations. What began as happy days of connecting to God through Torah study transformed into days also marked by tragedy. One of the earliest sources detailing how to mourn during Sefirat HaOmer describes a unique custom: refraining from work at night to commemorate Rabbi Akiva’s students who died and were buried at night. Nowhere else do we find refraining from work as a form of mourning. Instead, it is a response to the loss of 24,000 Torah scholars. The Rambam in Hilchot Talmud Torah argues that the majority of Torah study should occur at night. Thus, not working at night during Sefirat HaOmer is a beautiful response to this tragic loss, freeing us to maximize our Torah study.

So, even this year, or especially this year, as Rav Aharon Lichtenstein discussed after the Yom Kippur War when many of his students were killed, we acknowledge their sacrifice but turn it into an opportunity for further Torah study. During Sefirat HaOmer, we transform their sacrifice into a commitment to learning and growth.